- “A handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.”
- “When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it—but all that had gone before.” - Jacob Riis
- for 2023, write the type of person you want to become, an app maker, gamemaker, polyglot, dancer, etc. then set habits to achieve those identities, and the goals (apps, games, languages, winning battles) will come naturally
- if you already have a bad habit, imagine yourself as the type of person who doesn’t (e.g. someone whos always late vs on time). pick friends who are good examples of certain habits and emulate them (you already started a note to track this)
- be organized, creative, athletic
- get 1% better at something every day. doesn’t have to be the same thing every day, but whenever you do anything, be intentional and strive to do it a bit better. perhaps intention is a better theme this year, as opposed to novelty. be intentional vs autopilot
- what would a healthy person do? e.g. burrito or wrap, cab or walk, etc. What Would Ideal Rudy Do? WWIRD. maybe make a bracelet out of it. ask Carey how to do so
- identity change > process change > outcome change
- need to be strict about doing the boring stuff first, so that the fun outcome is associated with them. or, say i want something like video games, or a snack, etc. do something first to earn it, like journal, workout, work on Prio, etc.
- I want to be become someone who doesn’t get distracted at work, i want to be more like Luis. I’m lucky to have so many friends who are good role models, I should pay attention to their behaviors and emulate more
- cue craving response reward. like Dmitry talking about urges to check phone, there is a craving for reducing stress, phone is response, feel good is reward. need to work backwards sometimes to discover the cue and address it.
- “You satisfy your craving to feel relieved. Checking social media becomes associated with feeling stalled at work.” Oof. Found this right after I wrote the above.
- Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
- implementation intention, I will do x at time y at place z. I guess putting everything in google calendar is a similar idea, just need to make sure its not automatic and you respect the calendar
- add time in calendar to do nice/thoughtful things for Carey, friends, family
- rather than discipline, engineer environment to make good behaviors easier, bad harder. like the Sam Schillace email about incentives for certain behaviors in teams at work
- “The amount of time you have been performing a habit is not as important as the number of times you have performed it”
- Frequency is more important than overall time. Perhaps I should use vacations intentionally to build a specific habit by going hard on it so that it sticks even after the vacation.
- Gateway habits that take under 2 mins. E.g. for working out or dance, the habit can be “change into the appropriate clothes.” For meditation, “put on headphones, do not disturb, and open Headspace.”
- “But the point is not to do one thing. The point is to master the habit of showing up”
- Remember, it’s not about being a monk or the world’s best dancer or someone who’s super fit, it’s about being the person who meditates at least a bit every day, who dances at least a bit every day, who works out at least a bit every day. Habits > goals.
currently on start of chapter 14